Acts 8

Reading through this story, it's easy to criticize Simon and denounce him for being so selfish. Even after he accept the Lord as his savior and was baptized, he still sought after his own gain. Yet, when I read this, I feel like I can relate to Simon a lot. After he was baptized, he continued to followed the apostles and saw the power that they had. He wanted that same power so that he too could act as an apostle. Although I was never skilled enough to get people to pay me for performing fake magic, I still had that same desire to be admired and praised. I will be the first to admit that I have a lot of spiritual pride. When I began service in the church, I was far too young. Leading Bible studies, organizing meetings, planning retreats, I was naturally blessed with many of these abilities and I knew it. I took every opportunity to be deeply ingrained in the ministry. Of course, I had some desire to see the church built and to glorify God, but secretly, I knew that what I wanted even more was admiration. But when serving God, He doesn't look for your natural skills. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, the weak things of the world to shame the things that are strong. He wants to use people won't rely on themselves but depend solely on the Lord. God taught me this lesson the hard way, through His cross. And by the admonition of His cross, I will never forget this lesson. While back in Seattle, I use to serve the Lord by translating from Chinese to English. Although the first few sessions were very tough, eventually I got into the rhythm. It got so bad that eventually, I didn't even pray before going up to serve. One day, while on the podium, I found myself stumbling at almost every sentence. I kept wondering, what is wrong with me? Maybe it's cause I didn't get enough sleep or maybe it's cause I forgot to eat breakfast. I mean, your brain needs glucose to run efficiently, right? Halfway through the translation, it finally realized that it was because I didn't have the Lord with me. I was relying on my own abilities to serve the church and not the Lord. Afterwards, I got down on my knees and repented. From then on, I always made sure that in all my services for the church, I would really solely on the Lord and he has blessed me ever sense.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, You will not despise.